Nor Cal / Nev College Ministries

If a Group Member Creates a Problem

1. Member won't participate.
   • Involve them in conversation. Find out about their personal interest. Devote some time to him or her outside the discussion. When they do take part, make a special note of it. "That's a good point, Joe. We haven't been hearing enough from you. We appreciate hearing your position." Use questions to draw these kind of people out. Ask direct questions that only that person can answer. Don't use a question that can be answered "yes" or "no" and, of course, do not ask a question that he or she might be unable to answer for lack of information.
2. Member is joker, life of the party.
   • Encourage this when tensions need released. Laugh and enjoy it. However, when it is time to move on and tensions are relieved, ignore the efforts at frivolity. The person will soon learn that their role is the productive release of tensions, not to waste time laughing it up when the group should be discussing.
3. Member monopolizes discussion.
   • Encourage this if he or she is contending for a role that will benefit the group the most. If not, interrupt the person and move to another member. In general, encourage the group to take care of folks like this.
   • Don't embarrass or be sarcastic. You will need this person in this role later. Do not let them monopolize or give long speeches. Interrupt politely and throw the ball to another member with a question.
4. Member is argumentative, obstinate
   • Keep your own temper. Understand he or she is not inherently obstinate, but is so in the context of this discussion. Don't let the group get too tense and excited. Antagonism breeds further antagonism. Remember, the group is partly responsible for the individual's behavior. What can the group do to change it?
   • Examine the member's position carefully. Find merit in it if possible. Do not close your mind to the ideas just because they are expressed in an opinionated way. The group must examine all sides. In an emergency, let them know that time is limited and you will be glad to talk to him or her later. Talk to the individual privately before the next meet-ing. Explain that his or her view is important, the group will consider it, but it must not destroy group effectiveness.

If the Group Creates a Problem

1. Group is lost, confused, doesn't want to go to work. They ask directions, complain that they have been wasting time. Feel the discussion lacks organization. Members say they want to do something.
   • Now is the time to suggest a way of working. Provide agendas and suggestions for systematic ways to go about discussion. (If you are too forceful, it will be resisted or rejected. If you provide structure now, it will be welcomed.)
2. Group is tired, apathetic, dull. Marked lack of interest, low response rate, tired, yawning, quiet, polite.
   • Small talk, joshing, kidding, humor. Make them smile, chuckle, laugh. Display as much enthusiasm and energy as you can. Keep pumping enthusiasm until it is caught. Explain subject vividly, ask lots of easy questions. (Maybe play the devil's advocate.)
3. Group is resistant, antagonistic, hostile. Members intent on showing off, justifying their ideas, proving their worth. Members argue, come in conflict, show personal antagonism.
   • Analyze member ability. Assess the most useful role for each. Agree and support members who assume suitable roles. Joke, use humor (not ridicule or satire), change the subject. Remind the group of its objectives. If necessary, face situations and bring role struggles into open-talk about the social interactions.
4. Group is enthusiastic, responsive, active. Members stimulate one another to ideas, enthusiastic agreement, everyone interested and involved.
   • Go with the flow of the group. Allow the group to be democratic in direction and leadership. Do not worry too much about sticking to the planned agenda. The chaff can be sifted out later. Right now exploit the group's creativity.
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